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Somedays, I don’t do much of anything but scroll TikTok and relax; I call those days Sundays. I can always be assured that TikTok will send at least 30 Tarot reading videos, 20 spiritual videos, and ten poems, half of which will mention Twin Flames. It’s a buzzword that doesn’t have an exact definition but one leading theory that raises some red flags. I have my theory as well.
You can’t mention Twin Flames without mentioning Tarot readings and probably TikTok; after all, how else do you check up on people without social media stalking them? I’ll share inside details on this wacky theory, my own take, and of course, cover some of my favorite Tarot Spreads in this Twin Flame Tarot Spread Guide.
Bottom Line Up Front
Twin Flames are a complicated theory compromised of two people who have feminine and masculine energies (gender is irrelevant). The masculine is the runner and runs away from the relationship, while the feminine chases the runner, trying to keep the relationship together. The theory is heavily debated overall and can often seem incredibly toxic and problematic.
These Tarot spreads can give you some insight into various aspects of your connection with your Twin Flame at the current time. My favorites are the 5 Card Twin Flame Union Spread and the 5 Card Twin Flame Dynamic Spread because they give a deeper insight into the connection with some interesting questions but don’t ask you to draw a large number of cards. The bigger the spread, the more complicated the reading is.
Twin Flame Theory
The most popular Twin Flame (TF) theory on various social media platforms (ahem, TikTok) is that the other person is the other half of your soul. It’s like an upgraded version of a soulmate but more painful and less fun. The relationships are almost always romantic, but I have heard of platonic TF relationships. Supposedly TF relationships are incredibly rare, but everyone claims to have one nowadays.
Officially, it’s split into Divine Feminine (DF) and Divine Masculine (DM) energy. Not to be confused with biological sex or gender identity. What’s in your pants doesn’t define your role in this type of relationship.
The dynamics of the DF and DM relationship rely on the actions of each party.
- DF is considered the chaser and, therefore, more likely to fight for the relationship when it starts going south.
- DM is considered the runner and typically the first person to pull away or even ghost once the relationship starts getting serious.
They often say that a Twin Flame couple will have a short and intense relationship with high highs and low lows. They mirror each other and each other’s trauma perfectly. Therefore they trigger each other perfectly as well.
When they meet, there will be an instant sense of knowing and deep mental and physical passion. This is where it gets tricky; as this type of start to a relationship can also be abusive in nature.
While the passion and physical intensity will sweep them off their feet, the crash and burn is just as intense. The inevitable end of the relationship will start the growth and healing cycle of the DF. As the DF heals, the DM will also start to heal, essentially off of her energy; DM can’t learn a lesson unless the DF does, which is just co-dependent to me.
Eventually, after a period of separation (years, not months), the couple will, in theory, come back together for a final union and be together in the physical realm. Separation is supposed to be a time of learning and growing; only when both have completed their individual growing can they come back together.
During this period, the twins telepathically communicate with each other and help each other through the process. While they may be unaware of the telepathic connection, they will be acutely aware of each other’s energy and unable to stop thinking about them completely. Supposedly this is how you know; they weigh heavily on your mind years later, even when you don’t speak.
Yes, things are getting strange here. You may say this is some Stranger Things-type supernatural crazy.
The idea is that these relationships, while a roller coaster, aren’t abusive, and in the end, you are supposed to learn self-worth and unconditional love. Honestly, it feels a bit like a drawn-out attachment-style exercise or a Harley Quinn and Joker fling that teaches you one too many life lessons. However, others see it as a Notebook-esque situation.
My Theory
I won’t discredit the idea of twin flames completely based on my own experience with spirituality, but I try to keep a more grounded approach and remember that the human brain is tricky. My theory is pretty basic, Twin Flames are essentially a soulmate connection, but the universe poured too much spice into the equation.
Sometimes two people meet or reconnect as adults, and it just works. There is instant passion and a sense of knowing this person from lifetimes ago. They understand each other on a level others don’t, and even a look can tell them everything they need to know about how the other is feeling.
At the same time, they have a lot of issues they need to work through as individuals before they can truly work as friends or lovers. Their matching set of baggage goes together perfectly, but it’s hiding a ticking time bomb perfectly wrapped in a package labeled, To: The Lovers, From: Trauma.
Eventually, things blow up because neither of them has learned how to deal with their own issues and communicate effectively, and both are terrified of the relationship. They may feel deeply for each other, and they may know in some ways it’s a deeper connection, but they don’t understand it.
One person runs because that’s what they know. The other fights because they are terrified of the other leaving or leaving again. Eventually, they have to give up and move on for their own happiness.
At this point, they may never speak again, but the damage done will be eye-opening. They realize they both need to do a lot of work on themselves and dive into healing work; at least, that’s the goal anyway. In all honesty, the relationship is toxic at this point in time.
They aren’t healthy people for each other. Once they learn how to deal with their issues, the relationship would, in theory, cease being toxic. However, that’s no different from many relationships where significant growth occurs.
I’m not sure if I believe in the telepathy part, but I do believe there is a stronger connection between these souls. However, they don’t need one another to grow at this point. Their journey is entirely their own. They can also choose to stay stuck in their old ways.
Sometimes the universe gives them a chance to reconnect later on and work through things. The future of the connection is purely in their hands; they can be anything: friends, lovers, or enemies. They get the full choice in this and have full control.
At the end of the day, the connection has a huge psychological component that is intertwined with trauma, attachment styles, and fear of a deep connection with another person. While there may be a spiritual aspect to it that helps foster that deeper connection, it’s more mundane than magical, really.
Twin Flame Tarot Spreads
If you’ve jumped on the TF journey and are aching to check in with your “twin” in the physical realm, check in with yourself on the journey, or are just throwing stuff at a wall to see what’s up with someone you are missing, I’ve got you covered.
These are three of my favorite TF tarot spreads. A 3-card basic check-in, a 5-card dynamic spread (basically a deeper check-in), and of course, a union spread. What TF article would be complete without one?
I’m using the Wild Unknown Deck in these readings. Additionally, these readings are purely for fun in my eyes, but I did read on myself and my supposed “twin.” I’m using that term extremely lightly here. As I’m learning, I find reading about myself is a great way to get a good understanding of the cards.
#01 3 Card Check-In Spread
I love 3 card spreads; they are what I use the most. Allowing myself to pull clarifiers as needed. This spread keeps it simple and asks:
- A card representing the DF energy right now.
- A card representing the DM energy right now.
- A card representing how they can support each other in the connection right now.
I pulled the Eight of Cups for the DF energy card. This card is about walking away from something that is a dead end, basically. This tells me that I’m trying to power walk my way away from this situation. I can agree with this assessment overall.
For the DM energy, I pulled the Daughter or Page of Wands. I take this card to mean that perhaps my “twin” is contemplating a new wild adventure but not ready to embark yet. This card can also mean they are on the verge or are waking up to their spiritual journey. Either way, I wish them luck.
For the support card, I pulled the Three of Swords. This card signifies heartbreak, sorrow, and loss. This is telling me that in order to support each other at this time, we both need to work through sadness within our connection to allow love and healing to grow. Honestly, this card surprised me, but it has some merit. There is certainly quite a bit of sadness between us. It’s palpable when we are in the same room.
Reading Summary: This reading tells me that I am in a state of walking away from the connection completely while my twin is about to embark on a new journey or start to awaken to his spiritual purpose. To support each other, we both need to dig deep and work on the sadness and heartbreak we still feel towards each other.
#02 5 Card TF Dynamic Spread
This spread goes a little deeper into where you and your twin are at within the connection, along with advice on how to move forward. It asks:
- Where are you at right now?
- Where are they at right now?
- What is the core issue in the connection?
- What advice does the universe have for your connection?
- How can progress be made?
For the card representing me, I received the Star. I love when I get this card, it’s definitely one of my favorite cards to receive in any reading. It symbolizes feeling hopeful and spiritually renewed. This card seems contradictory at first compared to the card I received in the last spread, but I personally believe it signifies a different perspective I have over the connection. While I want to walk away, I still have hope that someday we will clear the air.
The card I pulled for my twin was Death in reverse. I don’t typically pull reversals partially due to focusing on learning the upright meanings in depth-first and because of how I shuffle but putting it upright felt off somehow. So, I left it as is. In reverse, Death signifies resisting transformation or change, typically spiritual.
Combined with the earlier card, this could mean he is on the verge of a spiritual breakthrough or about to embark on a new adventure of some sort but is resisting it for some reason. Resistance is futile, but they’ll learn that the hard way, I guess.
I pulled the Five of Swords as the core issue in the connection. The Five of Swords represents conflict and disagreement, competition, and pettiness. All of which were at the center of our inability to be in each other’s life. I believe this is heavily due to immaturity and poor communication skills. We’ve had quite a bit of time to develop these skills.
The universe gave us the Seven of Pentacles as advice. This card represents planning for and persevering through to long-term results. We’ve both been maturing and doing our own thing for so quite some time. I know I have learned a lot about perseverance, and I’m sure they have too. This card can also signify that we aren’t appreciating the progress that has been made within our connection. I guess no longer viscerally hating each other is a start.
This card also means other things to me, like being mindful of the progress and lives we built individually. We shouldn’t jeopardize our peace.
I pulled the Ace of Cups as the advice for how we can progress from here. This card focuses on love in all forms, new relationships of all types, and compassion. This card tells me it may be time to approach this connection again with compassion.
Reading Summary: This reading suggests that I still have some hope for some form of reconciliation while they are attempting to resist the inevitable. The core issue is our love/hate relationship. In the past, we were prone to fighting a lot. The universe advises us to take a step back, look at the bigger picture, and appreciate the progress we have made individually. Lastly, to move forward, we need to stop cold-shouldering each other and start showing some compassion, no matter how small—time to start practicing non-threatening smiles in the mirror.
#03 5 Card TF Union Spread
This spread focuses on supposed union with your “twin.” I like this spread because it forces you to be honest with yourself; what do you want from a reconciliation moment with your supposed twin flame? Along with some other great questions:
- What do I really want from the union?
- What am I not seeing about my DM/DF?
- What would life be like with them?
- How do they really feel about me?
- What does the future look like for our connection?
I got the Ten of Swords for what I really want from union. This card signifies painful endings, deep wounds, and betrayal. This card was a bit interesting because it means different things to different people. For me, in this position, it says that I want to put an end to painful parts of our connection. However, I’m worried it will end the way it always does. This is true; it would be nice to acknowledge things at least and move past them, but I am worried about how he will speak to me.
I pulled the 9 of Pentacles for what I’m not seeing about my DM in this case. This card focuses on self-sufficiency, becoming financially independent, and creating wealth. This tells me I’m not giving him enough credit for the way that he’s grown. Stop underestimating him, essentially.
For what life would be like with them, I pulled the Father or King of Pentacles. This guy is the symbol of financial wealth, leadership, and security. I take this to mean we may build a business together or simply have a prosperous life somehow. Pentacles often deal with money and business. It’s an excellent card to receive overall.
I pulled the Wheel of Fortune for how they really felt about me deep down. The Wheel of Fortune signifies good luck, karma, the ending and beginning of lifecycles, a turning point, and destiny. I believe I do know why this card was pulled. I won’t lie; it’s a comforting thought that does bring some peace.
For the future of our connection, I pulled the Father or King of Cups. This dude is all about staying emotionally balanced, compassionate, and understanding both sides, no matter how heated the situation is. This is a far cry from what our relationship was like in the past, but it would be a welcome change in the present. We have the capacity to be close friends, but it takes work to get there. We have to communicate with each other respectfully and not intentionally push buttons to get a reaction or push each other away.
Reading Summary:Â This reading tells me that I want to have that conversation to move past the painful ending of the relationship. While I want to have that conversation, I’m worried about the potential toxicity. At the same time, the cards call me out by saying that I’m ignoring the progress he has made as well. If I’ve grown so much in 8 years, he likely has too.
Deep down, he sees me as someone who started a new life cycle for him that ultimately was a good thing. Something we can both agree on. The future of connection looks like it will be emotionally balanced and full of compassion. Something that has often gone missing in the past.
FAQs
Question: How do I Know if I’ve Met my Twin Flame?
Answer: There are a lot of ways, but the biggest one is just a sense of feeling connected to each other and knowing each other on a deep level. You may also feel as if you are meeting yourself in another form or that you are too much alike, so to speak. You may have similar childhoods, good or bad, which means you mirror each other’s trauma on a weird level. You may fight a lot or trigger each other but still want to be with each other.
Lastly, you leave the relationship wanting to grow as a person, not necessarily for them but for yourself. You probably won’t know who this person is to you until after you’ve split, sometimes years later.
Question: What’s the Difference Between a Twin Flame and a Trauma Bond?
Answer: The main difference is in a trauma bond; you feel like you can’t leave even though you really want to. While in a twin flame relationship, you simply want them to stay and will fight for that, but you do let them go when it’s time to. You also retain the willpower to leave if things get too abusive.
For example, in my supposed dynamic, I always felt like I could, at any point, walk away, and I would be fine. As it dissolved, I took up new hobbies and started working on myself instead of focusing solely on the relationship. Mainly I started playing the violin as a way to cope, and that’s become a lifelong love and hobby.
Question: Will I End up With my Twin Flame?
Answer: That’s up to you guys; I’m not a fortune teller, just a girl with a chatty deck of cards. You write your own destiny and make that choice together. Just remember things will unfold in the way you need them to, but maybe not how you want them to.
The Flame Will Live On
Whether you believe in the idea of a twin flame or simply think it’s a fun party trick, you can’t deny that sometimes you meet someone you can’t shake completely. You can move on, but they hang out in the back of your mind more vividly than others. You may not know why or understand it, but they are there.
I may not call these people twin flames, but people who need to resolve unfinished business with on a spiritual level, perhaps. Nonetheless, these spreads can give you some insight into these relationships or make from some fun entertainment and, in my case, a lot of jokes and eye-rolling. Ironically, my favorite is the Twin Flame 5 Card Union spread, but I also enjoyed the 5 Card Twin Flame Dynamic Spread quite a bit.
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