Breaking up is always hard. Whether the breakup was mutual or one-sided, there is usually a lot of upset and hurt. Sometimes there are many unanswered questions, which can be hard when wanting to move forward with your life.
In this Ex Tarot spread guide, I will walk you through three different Tarot spreads. These Tarot spreads allow you to understand your previous relationship, forgive yourself and your ex, and move forward.
Ex Tarot Spread Guide Up Front
My favorite Ex Tarot spread is the five-card moving on Tarot spread. This Tarot spread looks at your relationship’s past, present, and future and helps you understand the breakup’s positives.
I like this spread as I believe that breakups are not always bad. There are loads of positives that we can learn from a breakup. Plus, it is essential to work on moving forward from a breakup as this allows us to carry on growing.
The other two Ex Tarot spreads are a simple three-card spread, and an Ex Tarot spread for forgiveness.
What To Not Ask The Cards
Before I began working on this article, I thought about the best way to approach an Ex Tarot spread.
I believe that Tarot can help you understand your breakup and your previous relationship. However, there are things that you should avoid asking the cards as certain questions do not allow you to move on from the breakup. Plus, the Tarot cards can’t answer specific questions about the future!
When performing an Ex Tarot spread, avoid asking questions such as:
- Will my ex get back come back to me?
- Does my ex still love me?
- Does my ex have a new partner?
- What can I do to make my ex love me again?
- Did my ex ever cheat on me?
These questions are simply not good for your well-being. Plus, the Tarot cards cannot fully answer them!
So, what are some Ex Tarot spreads that are great for your emotional and spiritual happiness?
A Three-card Ex Tarot Spread
The first Tarot spread is a simple three-card spread. It looks at where you and your ex are right now and what is in store for your future.
As I mentioned before, I do not believe the Tarot can answer specific questions about the future. However, the Tarot can show us what the future might be like when considering where we are right now and the energy we have.
The three cards that are pulled in this spread refer to:
- Their feelings
- My feelings
- The future
Let’s pick three cards and look at how they can be understood in the different positions.
The first card pulled is all about your ex. It will show you where they are right now in the breakup. For this card, the querent received the Wheel of Fortune.
This Major Arcana card represents change, karma, and fate. When it appears in a reading, it serves as a reminder to listen to the universe and letting it guide you towards your future.
So, what could it mean in this position?
Well, I see it as telling the querent that their ex believes the breakup happened for a reason. They are letting the universe guide them forward and know that fate will take them to where they need to be.
The second card pulled reflects the feelings of the querent. This card may be pretty obvious, but it might also show us any feelings that the querent is repressing.
This card will reflect on the feelings of the querent that need addressing.
For this card, the querent received the Nine of Wands. This card is all about standing up for yourself and being resilient. There are obstacles in the way with the Nine of Wands. However, with courage and perseverance, we can overcome them.
I thought this was a pretty interesting card to receive for this position. It suggests that the querent is still standing up for the love that was lost during the breakup.
But is this a good thing?
This position can reflect feelings of the querent that are not helping them move forward. Perhaps it is time for the querent to back down, give in, and let go.
To fully understand this card, we should look at the card for the future of their relationship.
The last card pulled reflects what the future might be like for both parties involved in the breakup. It may suggest that reconciliation is likely. Or, it might show us that it is time to leave the relationship in the past.
For this card, the querent received the Hanged Man. This card is all about pausing and reflecting. It reminds us to look at situations from different viewpoints in order to understand where we are in life.
When we want to understand this card, looking at the previous cards in the spread is useful. The first card suggested that the ex of the querent is looking towards the future and letting fate take its course. However, the second card suggests that the querent is acting differently. They are standing up for the relationship and want to fight for it.
The Hanged Man appears to be directed at the querent and the attitudes of the Nine of Wands. Perhaps it is time to look at the breakup in a new way. Perhaps the Tarot cards are telling the querent that they must let go, look at the breakup in a new light, and work on moving forward.
Forgiveness Ex Tarot Spread
This four-card Ex Tarot spread looks at forgiveness. It allows the querent to figure out what they need to forgive themselves and their ex for.
This is a great spread to use when you are feeling resentment and upset about the breakup. It helps you look at what you can do to move forward.
The four cards pulled in this spread refer to:
- Card one: The breakup
- Card two: What I am clinging onto
- Card three: Forgiveness towards them
- Card four: Forgiveness toward self
Let’s go through an example reading to understand this spread.
This is a general card about the breakup. It reveals aspects of the breakup that still influence the querent’s life.
In this reading, the querent received The Eight of Swords. This card reflects entrapment and powerlessness. In this card, these feelings are usually of our own making. We may feel trapped but are not actively working to ease this feeling.
Because the Eight of Swords appeared in this position, we can understand that the querent still has a lot of heavy emotions regarding the breakup. They feel trapped because of it, which is not helping them move forward.
The Eight of Swords has an element of a victim mentality to it. Perhaps the querent is clinging onto these emotions of the breakup and not working on changing.
What I am Clinging Onto
We can see that the querent is feeling trapped and upset about the breakup. They cannot move forward from these emotions, but why?
The second card pulled reveals what the querent is clinging onto. These may be pretty obvious, but the card can also reflect aspects of the breakup the querent is not acknowledging. By understanding what you are clinging onto in a breakup, you can tackle these and work towards a better future.
For this card, the querent received the Four of Wands. This is an interesting card to receive for this question. The Four of Wands reflects a time of celebration and harmony, its usually a positive card.
However, we can understand that the querent is finding it difficult to move on from the breakup because of the good times they and their partner had together. The querent is clinging onto the good times and is probably seeing them through rose-tinted glasses!
Forgiveness Towards Them
The third card reflects areas of forgiveness. It is beneficial for your well-being to forgive your ex. However, I know it’s hard! But, by being aware of the forgiveness that is needed, you are able to work on your own emotions toward it.
For this card, the querent received the Seven of Cups. This is card is about fantasy and choices. When appearing in a reading, it usually reflects an abundance of choice. However, some of these choices may be an illusion!
In this position, we can understand the querent’s attitudes towards their ex. It looks like the ex was the one to break off the relationship. They had choices in front of them and made their decision.
However, the querent believes that they made the wrong choice. Does the querent believe that the breakup was a ‘grass is always greener’ kind of situation?
Whatever the querent believes, the Tarot tells them it is time to forgive and forget. They may not have been happy with the choice their ex made. But, they need to accept it and work on moving forward without them.
Forgiveness Toward Self
Forgiving yourself after a breakup is just as important as forgiving your ex. Breakups are hard for everyone involved, and we can blame ourselves for what went on.
For this card, the querent received the Ten of Cups. This is usually a really positive card and reflects a harmonious family life. It has the energy of completion, success, and love.
Considering the meaning of the card in this position is pretty sad and upsetting. We can clearly see that the querent has dreams and goals of creating a harmonious family life. However, the breakup means that this will not happen. The querent blames themselves for this.
Hopefully, the querent will soon realize that plans and goals change. They still will get to the energy of the Ten of Cups! It might just be a different route than once thought.
Moving On Ex Tarot Spread
The final Ex Tarot spread is a five-card spread that looks at the relationship and breakup. It shows you the positives of the breakup and the relationship, and what you need to let go of.
The five cards pulled in this spread refer to:
- Card one: Past
- Card two: Present
- Card three: Future
- Card four: Positives from the breakup
- Card five: What you need to let go of
Let’s pick five cards, and I’ll walk you through the different positions of this spread.
The first card pulled reflects the past of your relationship. It shows you aspects of the past that still influence you today.
For this card, the querent received the Knight of Pentacles. This card represents a practical and hardworking person. They are reliable and trustworthy in a relationship.
This is a compelling card to receive in the past position in a relationship spread. I believe it to be either reflecting the querent or their ex. Perhaps their secure and loyal nature meant that the relationship was built on respect and trust.
The second card pulled shows you where you are right now regarding your breakup. It will reflect your current feelings about your ex and your past relationship.
For this card, the querent received the Seven of Wands. A card all about conflict and challenge, it is pretty obvious why it has appeared for this question! The querent is still at odds with their ex-partner. They feel challenged and are standing up for themselves. But, how can they move forward from this?
The third card represents the future. It can show you what the future looks like if you carry on with the present energy. Or, it can be advice from the universe about the future.
The querent received the Three of Pentacles in this position. A card about collaboration and teamwork; how can we interpret it in the future position?
Well, I believe it to be telling the querent that they need to incorporate the energy of this card to ease the energy of the Seven of Wands. Instead of being in conflict with their ex, how can they work together in order to move forward?
As it is a card in the Suit of Pentacles (just like the past card), we can see that there are practical things that the querent and their ex can work together on. Perhaps a romantic relationship is over, but is there another type of relationship on the cards?
Positives from the Breakup
When we break up with someone, we can find it difficult to see the positives of the breakup. But, there are always positives when we break up with someone! The fourth card looks at what you learned from the breakup and how you have grown. This helps us move forward from the relationship.
For this card, the querent received the Page of Wands. This youthful and energetic card represents someone with a lot of excitement and ideas. They are at the start of an adventure and are looking toward the future.
In this position, the Page of Wands suggests that the querent is now full of ideas and inspiration from the breakup. There is potential to turn the bad energy of the breakup into something positive and exciting.
What you Need to Let Go of
The final card represents things that you need to let go of regarding your ex and the relationship. This reveals advice from the universe on what you need to do in order to move forward.
The querent received the Justice card in this position. A card about fairness and truth, we can see that the querent still wants justice in one way or another.
However, justice is hard when it comes to breakups. Matters of the heart never seem fair, which can be difficult to deal with.
The Tarot is telling the querent that they must let go of notions of justice. This wish for justice is holding them back from moving forward in their life.
Ex Tarot Spread Guide FAQs
Let’s look at some questions you have about the Ex Tarot spreads.
Question: What Should I Ask my Tarot Card After a Breakup?
Answer: When using Tarot cards to understand a breakup, it is important to steer clear of asking the cards about the future. Ask your cards about your current situation and what you can do to move forward.
Question: Can the Tarot Cards Tell me if my Ex Wants me Back?
Answer: Unfortunately, the Tarot cards cannot tell you if your ex wants you back.
Question: Can Tarot Help me Move on From a Breakup?
Answer: Yes! Working with Tarot cards can help you understand what you need to do in order to learn, forgive, and move forward.
Allow Tarot To Help You and Your Ex Move Forward
I hope these spreads in my Ex Tarot spread guide can help you and your ex overcome the pains of a breakup. Breakups are a very emotional time, and we will want to know what our exes are thinking and feeling about us.
However, with these Tarot spreads, you are able to identify what you can do in order to get over the breakup and begin the next phase of your life!